Last year, I thought up what I wanted my words of 2018 to be. They were “empowered” and “dynamic” and a fun way to guide where I thought my year should go. And while I have felt more empowered than ever, and felt both wildly dynamic at times and very, very not at others, I enjoyed dreaming up those words. But this year, as each year is, will be different.
My word of the year for 2019? “Be.” Goodness, that's simple, isn't it? Until it isn't. I had grand visions this summer of leaving the job that did not feel like a good fit any longer (and I did, and it flowed beautifully and like magic)—with those grand visions of leaving the job, I felt that more, giant, leaps of big life upheavals would surely follow. I'd win the HGTV Smart Home. I'd be guided to publish my book immediately and go on a 9-month book tour. Big things. Extravagant things.
And while I was floored by the ease, grace, and flow of how full-time freelancing with the some of the most lovely and lively people I've ever worked with came into my life—my mind was fixated (as it tends to be) on a problem. "That's all? I came to be floored by magic. Yes, I am appreciative... but I thought I was meant for more."
And do you know what my heart kept saying, in my frustration, when I would really listen? Be. That's why I'm here right now. Doing the things. To be.
It’s pretty incredible, the amount of things that have transpired in a mere 365 days. Goodness, the idea for Light-filled Mornings as its own entity, its own platform, came to me in April of this year! And, at least today, I am appreciating all of them. Even the ones that weren’t as pretty. Even the ones I’ve felt like I was in a funk. And so if you, like August-edition Caitlin, are berating yourself for “why am I here, why haven’t I achieved more,” take heart. You have achieved exactly the right amount of things you’ve set out to do for today.
My birthday has come and gone (Christmas babies unite!) and by next week we’ll have a New Year. Last year, I brainstormed to see what words would feel good for 2018. This year, I just asked myself and journaled what came up. So guiding me this year, will be “be.”
Ask yourself—how should I spend this upcoming year?
For me? In peace, in joy, in love with life lived fully. Allowing, day by day. Forming new. Having fun. Being light. Breathing in fun.
Happy New Year, friends. - Caitlin